When Caring Backfires

I just finished reading an article in "O" magazine titled I don't Care. It gave me insight into a lot of the issues I have about other people's issues. I have people in my life that I dearly love and I want them to have the best. I care about them, I want to see them successful, I want them to do the right thing (right thing as I perceive). Yet in lieu of all the mental effort and concern that I have put into this matter, nothing has changed.

The article in "O" talked about when our desire to help the ones we care about is so strong we push them deeper into what we wanted them to get out of. As I wrote the paragraph above I was getting the "Aha" revelation. Could it be, the main word in my declaration is "I". This placed a completely different view on my caring.

Example 1: I have people in my life that I dearly love and want them to have the best. A person will never achieve their best because someone else desires it for them, they must want it for themselves. An even harder thing to except is because I love and hold them in my heart don't mean they place me on the same level of importance.

Example 2: I care about them. My caring doesn't change or make them do anything differently. A loved one recently told me, "Just love me for who I am. I am going to live my life the way I want and you should do the same." This was a great gift, it freed me from thinking I was responsible for them. Caring has to be wise enough to allow loved ones to choose their own way. Wise enough to respect the timing and choices they make. And most of all wise enough to know when to step back.

Example 3: I want them to be successful. As a life coach I know success begin from the inside out. My desire for them to suceed is just that, "my desire." The harder I push the greater the resistance. We must each find the wisdom in us that tells us we are not and never will be in control of what another person does.

I will never be at the place where I can say I don't care, that is not in my makeup. I can say with a high degree of certainty that I will not allow what I want for my loved ones to override the path they must find for peace. The article gave me the courage to say, "I love you, but I can't love you so much that I allow your issues to become an issue for me. I removed the "I's" from the relationship with you; which allows us what we need for our health, happiness and growth.

Wishing you much joy,

Just Alice

Understanding the Game

  Life is like a football game, sometimes you get traded, and sometimes you negotiate a better contract, sometimes you blitz and sometimes you fumble.  Somewhere around center field, if you are lucky, you understand it is not about the plays in the game, it is about being able to play the game.

I read this somewhere and thought it was good. So many times in our lives we are so wrapped up in winning that we never enjoy living. My greatest insight came this year at a very high price. My sister died of breast cancer five days after my birthday; it instantly gave me the insight of  how important it is to know the difference between the plays in the game and the opportunity to have another day to play the game called life. 

           May you always have joy in your life

A vision for tomorrow

And wisdom to know the value of both

Wishing you much joy,

A.W. Beauchamp

Who is a Sister?

Sister Friend

She is I and I am She

She dries my tears and holds my hand when life I fear

And when in life my eyes can’t see, it is hers that sees for me

When her days are dark and she can’t see

If she stumper it is I whom will catch her fall

If her nights become long and dreary

I’ll light a candle and bring it near her

When she hurt I feel her pain

For we are two, yet one and the same

She is I and I am She

For on all earth there are no others

That is like She, nor we

For from the same seed grew this tree

And all our lives the same we will be

If I call, she always answer

It is her success that makes me strong

It is my dreams that she believe in

Our love is binding for all times

Her name is Sister, and mines is the same

For she is I and I am She

And the same we will always be.

A.W. Beauchamp

Did you thank a Soldier this Memorial Day?

I would like to send my personal thanks and best wishes to all the soldiers and their families on this Memorial Day. Being a military family member for over 20 years I personally know the sacrifices that the soldier and their family go through. The countless moves and uprooting of children from what has become their new normal surroundings. I have stood in the lines and cried when the blue buses came to take love ones to the airport for the unknown. I have held a child’s hand and heard the echo of uncertain voices around me say, “Daddy or Mommy will be back soon.” And I have rejoiced when those blue buses came into view and brought them safely back home.

Those are only a few of the daily sacrifices that you make for us to live the lives we often take for granted. So on this Memorial Day I would like to say thank you so very much; for I know the price you pay. I pray that God bless you a thousand times for each day that you give of yourself for us. Be safe and know that you are loved and appreciated. I am forever grateful, Happy Memorial Day.

The Sea of Life

Into each of our lives the storm must come, but for each drop of rain within the storm, an opportunity is given for our spirits to take root and sprout in the soil called life. The heavier the rain, the deeper the roots are anchored, the deeper the anchor the stronger the growth, and it is from that growth that a more empowering life is sprouted.

If you are in a storm I encourage you to keep moving. Maybe you are only able to take baby steps at the moment, but take the baby steps. The term going through the storm means we must keep moving, and one day you will look back and see how far those baby steps have taken you. One day you will step out of your storm and the sun will welcome you.

Life is so very precious even with its storms, and with that said I share with you the reading below entitled The Sea of Life.

Wishing you much joy,

AW Beauchamp



Sea of Life

Thou asked of God his sea to sail,
My warning to thee, of her tragedies
Her beauty of eye I give to thee
Her vision of faith life teaches free

The colors of her water so turquoise blue
Reaches farther than thy eyes shall ever view
Her beauty lies not only in the peace of her calm,
Her beauty also lies in her mighty roar within the storm
The harshness of the waters of my sea
Can be dark and cold in life’s reality

I gave to thee a memory to keep, of her beauty,
Her calm and her tranquility
But She is a sea and a sea must roar,
Her waves will often toss thee
From shore to shore

When above-head waters, thou find all around
I’ll pick thee up and place thy feet on solid ground
I gave to thee my sea to sail, but my sea She will always be
I send not the tide to wash the sand from under thy feet
I send it to connect each grain and steady the soil beneath thee

Thou asked of me my sea to sail
I gave to thee a compass called understanding to guide thy mind
A bow called Word to point thy destination
A stern called wisdom to look back with hindsight and
A safety of port called faith to store thy heart

I gave to thee my sea to sail, though her roar be loud,
Her tides be high and her waves be steep
Always know, I’ll never leave thee without anchored feet

So let the salt of the tears of thy heart
Mix with that of my sea
Let the tide bring them back to me
And them too I will sail with thee

Find comfort in the memory of her beauty,
When in the still of the twilight a moon so full
Softly kissed the blue waters of her cheeks
For I gave to thee my sea to sail,
The mastery of sailing, I teach to thee
But the Master of the sea, I can only be

Why, The Cappuccino Spa?

I was asked why I chose the title of my blog. I call my Blog “The Cappuccino Spa,” because cappuccino is strong and hot and a spa is cool and relaxing. As a woman, I write for the audience of women. It is the dialog and passion that makes us unique and that is what I want to communicate. I want my blog to be the caffeine rush you get from your first sip of cappuccino; hot and strong enough to open your eyes to the endless possibilities of You.  I want it to be rich enough to add value to the life you live. I want it to take you away from the madness in every day and to stimulate your passions, and to encourage you to pursue your purpose. And last but never least, I want it to make you laugh and enjoy.

Sit back and have a cup of Cappuccino on me, and if you enjoy it become a member and share it with all your friends.

·       Thought for Today:  Learn how to laugh as well as pray in bad times; just in case you are praying for the wrong thing and laughter might be all you have in life to sustain your joy.  

Wishing you much joy,
AW Beauchamp

Life is like a Beach

The story that I will share with you in my first blog is titled, “Life is Like a Beach,”  With all the tornados that have covered our nations over the past weeks I think it is appropriate.  I hope when you finish reading it you will understand the title. I wrote the story in 2006 when I was in one of my reflective stages. I find that my best work is created when I seize the moments of the zone. I urge each of you to try it; when that creative moment knock on your door invite it in and you will be amazed at what phenomenon work have been placed within you.

Life is like a Beach

In August 2004 my mother died suddenly, making me aware of how quickly and unexpectedly life can change. In October, with that knowledge at the forefront of my mind I headed for the beach, I decided to stop taking for granted what I called everyday things.

I decided that each day I would watch the sunset from beginning to end; I walked to the pier and waited until the sun started its descent over the horizon.  I saw shades of orange, red, and yellow that I am sure man cannot duplicate. Each day the experience was different, the colors were richer and the sound of the water beating against the pier was in more perfect harmony. And with the unveiling and disappearance of this masterpiece, I saw a creation from a higher power. After the sun disappeared I would remove my shoes and walk down the beach back to the condo. With each step the warmth of the sand and the coolness of the water massaged my spirit.

On one particular evening as I approached the pier, I saw that someone had stolen my spot and was looking out toward the sea, waiting in my spot for my sun to set. The peace and anticipation that I had felt walking to the beach faded.  As if that wasn’t bad enough, a dark cloud had drifted overhead and I could feel a drop of rain every now and then.  Removing my shoes and trying to savor the last of my ritual, I hurried down the beach to the condo.  Suddenly a pain vibrated through my foot, upon inspecting it I saw that I had stepped on a sharp rock and pricked my foot deeply enough to draw blood. The water that had yesterday massaged my feet now aggravated the cut and increased the pain. With disappointment, pain and a littler anger I went to my room.

That night as I tended my wound, my mother crossed my mind and I thought how life is a lot like the beach. It is filled with unexpected possibilities; sunsets so beautiful that you see God, hot sand to massage your feet and cool waters to encourage your steps. It is filled with joys that come for a short moment, yet leaving us renewed in hope for a lifetime. It is filled with waves that play a rhythm against the walls of our hearts and quiet our spirits. It is filled with uninvited guests that comes and steals our special spots and clouds that block our view of the future. And it is filled with rocks hidden within the sand, waiting to wound our physical bodies.   

Each evening I went back to the pier and after the sunset I removed my shoes and walked down the beach back to the condo. The beach had given me an invaluable gift, a gift that I now share with you, “Never give up on life because today isn’t perfect, but always keep the memories of the perfect sunset to renew your hope in life’s possibilities.” As I packed my car and drove toward home I thought, “In October next year I will sit on my pier and watch my sunset, I will walk on the beach and feel the warmth of the sand and the coolness of the water massaging my feet.” 

My beach was in Biloxi Mississippi, and the next year in August 2005 a hurricane called Katrina came and not only destroyed my special spot, but also destroyed my beach. I will always be thankful that I didn’t allow the clouds, stones or uninvited guest to keep me from my last chance to view the sunset from my spot.  Always be aware that life, like the beach, can change very quickly and unexpectedly. Cherish the people that you love. Seize the moment!

I wish you much joy,

AW Beauchamp